Wishing for You.. [Chapter 1] 

This is a fanfc I made, its fully based on Adam Couple. Don’t read if you are not a fan of Adam. The main plot of this story was not mine I edited, fixed grammer and added. You can read the original one if you want. Main CR: here. But if you want to read my one then i’d be beaming with happiness! Enjoy~

(BEG Dorm)
GaIn’s room
The night was dark and icy cold, murky clouds covered the sky, blocking the usual pale light of the moon. Outside, strong winds blew, rattling my bedroom window. I could hear the patter of rain hitting the hard pavement, and the whooshing sound of trees being swayed violently through the harsh storm. I laid there under the warmth of my bed covers, silently thinking..
Tomorrow is my birthday. Agh,  for some reason I really want a choco pie to eat.. not sure why, must be a sudden craving.. I remembered how I celebrated my birthday 2 years ago on the  WGM filming set, with my on screen husband Jo Kwon. An automatic smile appeared on my face when that name came to my mind. Jo Kwon, the younger boy who gave me so much happiness in those past years as my ‘fake husband’. Ever since WGM ended those moments vanished along with it.. Yup it’s been a whole year since we last properly contacted each other. We often run into one  another every now and then after the filming of WGM, especially since we filmed All My Love together. We would causally greet and give uneasy glances, as we waved and said hello. On set when I have to act like his sister, I endure any thoughts because I’m a person who doesn’t like expressing my feelings clearly. But sometimes . I always feel my heart fluttering whenever  I was near him. But I made sure to hide these feelings, I mean, what if he doesn’t return my feelings?..
When we see each other Kwonnie would always wave with great excitement at me exclaiming “Saranghae Yeobo” jokingly, even though the show has ended. Which always makes me feel slightly flustered and happy inside. When I see Kwonnie memories of our time in WGM rush into my mind, and I can’t believe someone like Kwon could make me feel so empty when he isn’t  with me. Even though we say hi in person when we bump into each other, or talk on set of All My Love, we never call or text each other in our spare time like we used to. Things have gone this way because neither of us wanted to make a move.. well that’s what I feel anyway…..
 “GaIn-ah… Are you sleeping already?!” someone calls my name from outside my room and I recognise the voice straight away, JeA unnie.
“Not yet, Waeyo?” I shouted at her as soon she opens my bedroom door
JeA unnie walks in and immediately notices the smile on my face, “Yah, why are you smiling by yourself under there?!” She walks over and lifts my blanket off from over my head. “What are you thinking about hah?” JeA unnie asks me cheekily, gently slapping my butt as she says it. I gave her a dirty look for slapping me and deny her accusation.
“I’m not thinking about anything at all.”
Jea grins mischieviously,“I’m sure GaIn-ah..I’m sure..Whatever you say” I roll my eyes at her sarcastic tone and she responds with a grin. “AAH! That’s right! GaIn-ah tomorrow is your birthday do you want a present? C’mon tell me ..Hurry up..!” I stare blanky out the window not replying to her. “Yah GaIn-ah, I’m gonna count to 5, you better tell me what you want by then. 1…2…3…”
“Unnie I’m not a child anymore, so stop counting!… aaish! You really are like an ahjuma..!!”
“Yah… you better watch what you say to me love..! I am older then you! Aiish fine then don’t tell me, go back to sleep then!!” slapping my butt again as she chuckles as she leaves my room.    
As she closed the door behind her I thought to myself, ‘Unnie I don’t really want anything for my birthday.. Actually I just want a chocopie for my birthday, but if I tell you you’re just gonna ask for more details about why I want one.. and personally I’m not really sure myself… JeA unnie’s words echoed in my mind, “ Yah, watch your mouth..” those words reminded me of Kwonnie when we visited Hong Kong, he was so annoying then! But I liked having his company, he always made me feel.. less tired.. Ahh what’s wrong with me, why is it that after all these months I keep thinking of him. C’mon GaIn, just forget him. Tomorrow is your birthday it means a new chapter for you, are you going to begin your new chapter by thinking about your old ‘on-screen’ husband?  stop it!! That chapter in my life is over, completely and utterly over… or has it?.. Ugh! Just go to sleep GaIn!’ I grabbed my blanket and threw it over my head, attempting to get some sleep.
01:14 AM
My phone beeps loudly just as I was about to drift off to sleep, someone sent me a message. At this time?! I recognize the tone of the message very well though.
[Jo Kwon] lights up on the phone, it’s from Kwonnie?..
Gosh, I was just thinking about him and now he sends me a message on my birth day. This is the first time he has contacted me since our last episode was aired on tv. He hasn’t forgotten my birth day, even after a year.
“Happy birth day Yeobo.. wish you all the best.. no sexy outfit again for this year. Don’t forget yeobo to eat well, sleep well, and get enough rest.. OH..! and of course, remember to love your hubby kwonnie.. kekeke… just kidding noona.. ps. I hope I’m the first person to congratulate happy birthday to you”
I smiled when I read Kwonnie’s SMS, he hasn’t change at all, still his nagging, worrying self. ‘Remember to love your hubby kwonnie’.., that part really sounded like him. Yup, you’re the first person to congratulate me, Kwonnie. I keep staring at my phone, I don’t know why but, it almost seemed like I was waiting for  him to call me or something  after he sent the text. Ahhh, this can’t be happening GaIn..he won’t call you! Just go to sleep, I have to wake up early tomorrow, off to airport for the U.S. We have a show in Chicago next week. All of a sudden my phone starts ringing, and when I look at the caller I.D I see its Kwonnie.
[Jo Kwon] I just continue staring at the name, what the hell is happening?!  An hour ago I couldn’t stop thinking of him, a few minutes ago I was hoping he would call me. And now he’s calling me?! God, are you planning on something crazy to happen?!? If yes, please make something good happen. I don’t need anymore drama in my life, All My Love was enough for awhile!
I answered my phone, and for the first time since about two years I hear his voice through the phone again.
“Anyong hasaeyo noona..”
“Anyong Kwonnie, why are you not sleeping yet?”
“Aww.. I just wanted to wish you happy birth day,  my lovely, cute wife.. that’s why i’m not asleep yet..”
“Yah..!!!! Who do you think you are? Calling me your lovely cute Wife?!”
“Sorry noona, I was just kidding.. Why aren’t you sleeping yet noona? Are you waiting for somebody else to call? If yes than I’ll just hang up”
“ANII~!” GaIn screamed into the phone in denial, then quickly realised how loud I was and tried again more calmly”…. ani…. ani….”
“Ehh… why are acting so strange noona, or is this how mid 20 year old ladies should be acting..? kekeke..”
“Yah!.. What are you implying hah….?!!”
“I was about to sleep when I received your message, and then you called me”
“Sorry for disturbing you yeobo~, anyway did you eat well today?”
“Oh~, I ate well today. By the way, why are you calling me after a whole year of not bothering to even contact me?! And what do you mean about the sexy outfit thing?!
“Ahh yeah I know it’s been a year already. Sorry noona, but my schedule has been really tight thesedays. Hahaha… I told you that because this year you won’t have a husband anymore! As your ex – husband I’m allowed to tell you that… just kidding noona~ keke”
“Yah, what do you think you are? My manager or something, why would you think you can say something like that to me?! …Yeah my schedule’s jampacked too”
“Oh, noona~, I’m free tomorrow, so do you want to celebrate your birthday with me” he said teasily with his aegyo voice.
“Aww, kwonnie-ah~ I’m sorry, I can’t, tomorrow morning I’ll be on a plane to Chicago. Brown Eyed Girl’s are having a concert overthere. I’m gonna be there for 2 weeks, sorry, I would have loved to go though..”
“Oh… busy schedule ay, I’ll be going to the U.S too, but next week.. all of JYP artists will take part in the Jin Young hyung concert at New York, maybe you and BEG noonas can stop by there and I can say happy birthday to you in person. It’s a Jin Young hyung concert, your favorite noona. C’mon it’ll be fun”
“Aw, I also have concert in New York, so I might be able to drop by, but I can’t promise you anything. We’ll see later, ne?”
“Oh.. that’s okay.. then I’ll see you around, ne  noona?.. I’m getting sleepy now. So good night noona”
“Good night Kwon-ah, thanks for calling to wish me happy birthday”
“Good night yeobo, saranghae”
He hung up the phone, before I could reply “saranghae, Kwon-ah”
I can’t fall asleep after the call from kwonnie.. his voice hasn’t changed, still cheerful yet full of worry when he nags at you  No, I didn’t say that. GaIn-ah~!! Hajima!~ No, I can’t be thinking of Jokwon that way.. Don’t you remember what he did to you!.. Just, SLEEP.
Noona, if only you were free tomorrow… I chose a perfect birthday present for you… I stared at all the packets. Ahhh maybe she was angry because I didn’t call her even once after WGM ended.. But I couldn’t call her after WGM finished because I didn’t know how I should have acted around her. I didn’t know if I should still act as if I was her hubby or if we were just friends, I didn’t want her to think I was being stupid acting as if we were real after a tv show! I mean how could I say I missed her, ask if she ate well, if she slept well, how her day was when our “marital status” has ended. If only she knew how I missed the time on WGM together. Ah!~ JoKwon bapo!!! I should’ve asked her about her feeling about me long time ago… or maybe I should’ve told her my feelings for her a long time ago…
So what do I do tomorrow?! I already asked my manager to let me off for the day..
Suddenly the thought just came into my mind.. YES!! I made up my mind… I was gonna do that.
Well, I just hope everything I mentally planned tomorrow will go well. Aish! I’m getting nervous and its only 2 in the morning!  Ah!… I’ll cross my fingers and pray! If everything fails then everyone would know what I did, ahh CHINCHA I’d be so screwed! Not only me, BEG and 2AM would be dragged along with me! Aish Jokwon calm down! Just sleep everything will be just fine tommorw.. I hope..
(Yesterday morning) 2AM living room
“Kwon-ah, do you know what day it is tomorrow?!?”
“No.. what day is it Seoul Ong hyung hah?
“Your ex-wife’s birthday, bapo!!” Seul Ong seeing how Kwonnie didn’t say anything added,
“Ahhh,  you remember her yeah? She’s still your friend right?!” Kwonnie ignores his question, grabbing a nearby magazine and suddenly pretended to be interested in an article on kimchi. Seul Ong sighs evasperated,
“Did you really forget her birthday Kwon? Hah..?? Kwon-ah she said you never even tried to contact her after WGM ended, is this true?? Waeyo?!?”
“Hyung, I’m tired I’m going to bed  now”
“Yah, you havn’t even answered my questions yet!!!”
“Night hyung, tomorrow hyung”

I closed my eyes but my mind was racing, yeah of course I remember hyung, I remember her birthday very well. Sorry I can’t tell you hyung, if I tell you your just gonna tell GaIn noona how I feel about her. But I’m not ready for her to know yet. Not now…. 

2 years ago with 16 notes

Wishing for You… [Chapter 2] 

[Disclaimer: Adam Couple may or may not be real! (Obviously real though, haha.) COPYRIGHT! Please don’t claim my fanfics as your own. Or  else i will not post up my fanfics any more. Clear? Understood? Good. Hahaha, anyways~ sorry for the delayed post, hope you guys enjoy the second chapter! ^^ Main CR: here.



Incheon International Airport

After a mini conference at the airport, asking about the BEG’s U.S tour. The reporters quickly congratulate GaIn, giving her happy birthday wishes. One of the reporters asked “GaIn do you have a special wish or special present from any particular someone that you’d like? Like two years ago, Jo Kwon made a unique event for you. You still remember that right?”

“Oh..Mmm.. ne, I remember that„ how could I forget?! Ahh, only ,y unnies have given me presents so far, but maybe I’ll receive something later. Ahh… haha, aw, I hope Jo Kwon sings Happy Birthday to me again with his out of tone voice! Kekeke. I think he’s really busy these days. And about my birthday wish? I think I’m going to keep that a secret to myself! Ne, thank you everyone” GaIn ended the interview with a quick wave and a cute, “Anyong” to the cameras.

All the BEG members gathered to congratulate GaIn and sang Happy Birthday to her. In just a few short minutes, they had become the center of attention in the airport. Her unnies sang just what she had asked for in the interview. Noisy and out of tone singing, just like Kwonnie. JeA unnie even added some Kkap dancing which made everyone start laughing hard. GaIn enjoyed the comedic act, but was also embarrassed by the crowd which had formed.

“Okay…okay.. thank you unnies.., but c’mon I’m not a kid anymore! So stop making such a huge fuss. Look everyone’s staring!!!” They all laughed at her but sat down together waiting for their plane. All the reporters gradually dispersed when the “mini concert for GaIn” had ended, but a few fans lingered behind. Some even shouting to GaIn asking whether she was dating Kwon or not! She shook her head defensively, making her unnies laugh.

“That’s okay, they know we’re idols so we like making the headline of the news!” Narsha shouted posing diva style as their fans were taking photos and screaming, “Fighting Brown Eyed Girls!~”

“Yah, don’t go too far. If you do that everyone will think we’re wierd and no one would want to go out with this oldie!” Jea shouted back at Narhsa, referring to herself.

“Aish, what are you two unnies talking about? What about me I’m single right now as well” GaIn said shyly, knowing Miryo currently had a boyfriend.

“Yah, what do you mean single.. what were you doing last night hah?! Why were you smiling alone in your room, hiding underneath your blanket! Do you guys remember, she did that when she was ‘Married with our Jo Seobang’! Kekeke, C’mon tell us who the guy is?” Narsha and Miryo turned to GaIn, suddenly very interested after JeA informed them about this new piece of gossip.

“Nooo!… nothing happened to me, It was nothing! AAH! Last night, I was just listening to the radio and the DJ was so funny that I SMILED! Didn’t you see my ear phones unnie?” GaIn desperately trying to escape, because she knew that her unnies wouldn’t let her off that easy. When they start teasing, they usually never stop. She stares around at each of them, frantically hoping they bought her story, but they just smiled at her as if they knew something.

“Aish, this is frustrating! Nothing happened!” GaIn immediately stood up from her chair wanting to go to the bathroom when she realized her face was hot and she was blushing like crazy.

“Unnie~I suddenly I need to pee” she hurriedly leaves her unnies  and walks alone to bathroom

“Yah!!! Comeback we’re not finished yet” JeA calls after GaIn with  a big smile on her face

“GaIn-ah don’t forget your hoodie and shades, or everyone will see your red face!” Narsha shouts at GaIn. Hearing that GaIn scowls quietly under her breathe and walked back, quickly grabbing  her shades and hoodie. She shoves her shades on, placing them above her nose and pulls her hoodie over her head..

The two single unnies seem to really enjoy teasing their maknae, they laughed when GaIn quickly puts her hoodie on, and laugh even harder when she rushes to the bathroom.

“Haiissh, they really should go get themselves boyfriends!” GaIn grumbles to herself. She lowered her head as she walks to the bathroom  so no one would recognise her. When suddenly she hits someone else standing near the toilets.. She richocheted backwards after bumping her head against the person and stumbled back a few steps..

Ouchh..” from the voice I realised that it must be a guy, the person rubs his forehead with his left hand

“Ahhh~!” I squint my eyes in pain as I rub my head. It was a few moments before I looked up at the person in front of me. I scrutinised him from head to toe. He was wearing a jacket, his face was covered completely with shades and a mask was placed over his mouth. He looked up and when he saw me abruptly pulling the hoodie of his jacket over his head. How odd…

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you like that. Are you okay?” I asked him, concerned as he didn’t even look like he was moving nor was he saying anything. After a while he puts his thumb up, signaling that he was ‘okay’, still not uttering a single word..

He bobs his head down in a nod, simply walking away right past me. Ah, there is something really weird about him.. I turn around and stared closely at the guy.. his body.. his legs.. his back.. they all seem too familiar. It almost seemed like… Ahh, no way GaIn! Bapo! No way, it can’t be him!! Shaking my head, I turned and walked back towards the toilets, but at the doorway of the bathroom my foot lands on top of something on the floor. I looked down to see an unzipped backpack. A brown package had fallen out and was now lying beside the bag .. It must belong to that hoodie guy. I grabbed the package and stuffed it back into the bag, running in the direction the guy walked off to. I looked around the bustling crowds of people, it took a few seconds before I spotted his hooded figure from a distance. I ran up behind him and tapped his shoulder. He immediately turns to face me. I gave him a small wave before I tell him about the bag.

“Sorry again, is this your bag? I think you left it behind” I gave it to him with my right hand

That guy coughed loudly as he takes the package from my hands. As I let go of the package I noticed that he was wearing a ring on his finger.He threw the bag over his shoulders and placed the package under his arm,. He clears his throat before he thanks me. “Tha…nk… yo…u, and…. So..rry…” He said awkwardly, he had an abnomally rough voice, for someone who seemed to be a young man of about 20 years or so.  His voice just then made him seem like a 40 year old man! I giggled sofly under my breathe after hearing such a ridicuously deep voice from this young loooking man. He cocked his head to the side, wondering why I was laughing.  As he turned his head to the side in confusion, it really reminded me of someone..

I looked at the guy’s face with curiousity, moving  my face closer to him and just stared at him. I stayed like that for awhile not realising I had drift away into my own thoughts. It wasn’t until he moved his face closer to me and snapped his fingers did I realise I had spaced out.The sharp ’clack’ of his fingers woke me up from my random daze. I returned back to reality to see his hand waving in front of me. That was when I realised his hand was enclosed with a white glove, and for some reason he was only wearing one glove..?  I smiled apologetically. Ahh, that was embarrassing.. to get away from this embarrassing situation I quickly bowed politely.

“Sorry..!!” I spluttered, and started backing away slowly.. He watches me back away but once again, nods and just turns and leaves me. I watch as he walks off.. staring after him. I continued walking backwards until he was out of my sight… I swear he looks so familiar.. I reached the bathroom and started vigorously splashing cold water onto my face. I hovered over the sink, placing each of my hands on the sides as I stared at myself in the mirror. Thoughts whirled through my mind,‘ It can’t be him, right??’ The thought of that hoodie guy continues to stay in my head. ‘He’s married, I mean I’ve looked at his finger, he’s wearing a ring, so it can’t be him!!! I mean so he wears a mask and shades, what that automatically means he’s someone famous?! He could have some sort of problem about having people see his face?!… OR, he might be famous?.. NO! he isn’t famous, stop it GaIn-ah! Stop thinking of him! After a while of metally arguing with myself that he wasn’t that guy, I leave the bathroom. As I made my way outside to my unnies, I couldn’t help but think to myself, ‘Ahhhh SON GA IN, What’s wrong with you! Wake up now! Why do you keep thinking about him! He doesn’t even care about you anymore!” I pinched my cheek, to stop my ridiculous daydreaming. AHH..It HURTS. I whine quietly to myself.. “Aauchh!!~”

I walked out from the toilet to my unnies, who was waiting for me. My phone beeps but I don’t want to check, knowing it’s probably one of the members or my manager. My mind was still filled with thoughts of that hoodie guy.

“GaIn-ah!! hurry up!!” Miryo unnie shouted at me, when she saw me from a distance

“GaIn-ah, this is for you” Miryo unnie gave me a bag that looks strangely like that hoodie guy’s bag..

“What’s this unnie?”

“I don’t know, a little boy gave it to us when your were in the bathroom”

“Are you sure this was sent by a little boy?” I take off my shades,  asking unnie curiously.

“Yah, why is your face like that. Is there somebody else that should’ve given this bag to you young lady??” Miryo’s face suddenly move closer to GaIn

“No, but I just hit a guy before, he dropped his bag and a package  fell out. The package looked exactly like this one…”

“This package is probably not the only one in the whole wide world young lady! Yah, hurry up and  open it! He said this was a birthday present for you”

I opened the packet, yet the packet was different from the hoodie guy’s packet, there are 6 packages inside it. Well, I did only see one packet drop. But… I didn’t get to even see inside the bag.

Inside were 2 packs of chocopies, 2 bottles of Yakults, a hair band and a perfume bottle. And it had card, well more like a simple note tucked under the perfume packet.

“Happy birthday noona,  from your number 1 dongshaeng fan. PS. I’ve bought 2 packs of chocopies so you should share the one with your unnies, okay noona? And don’t let your unnies take all the chocopies you should try them too, they’re yum~  keke”

“GaIn-ah, open the chocopies please.. I want one they look yummy” Narsha immediately begs GaIn.

“Haish! De! Unnie, you can have this one, but the other one’s mine, ok? You all can ONLY have one pack of chocopies!”

“Okay, okay, fine! But hey GaIn-ah who’s the sender huh..?” JeA moved closer to her and ask softly,  she could obviously, see how happy I looked.

“I don’t know, it just said from your number 1 dongsaheng fan” GaIn shows the card to her leader.

JeA smiled when she read the card, quickly poking Miryo and showing her too, Miryo smiled mischieviously..

“You’re thinking what I’m thinking right” JeA says brightly to Miryo who replied with a smile on her face.

“Unnie.. why are you two acting like that, you know something don’t you! Aww, tell me what you know~” GaIn says using her aegyo, to try and make her unnies give in and tell her.

“Aiigoo, are you really that clueless young lady” Miryo teased the maknae and stands up because the manager called them to board the plan which was leaving soon.


(Three hours ago) 

2AM DORM - Jo Kwon room


“KRIINGGGG…..” “TING TONG TING TONG” “I gotta fellin, oooh-hooo,’ that tonight’s gonna be…” 

All three alarms ing at same time, deafening my ears and almost giving me a heart attack.

Aaiiishhh, Stupid alarms always bugging my sleeping time.. I growled as I switched each of them off. I throw the sheets back over my head. But after a few seconds I shot back up remembering that I had to do something today. I threw the covers to the side and hastily started washing up, and changed into casual clothes. I tiptoe into Changmin and Jinwoon’s room being extra cautious when I walked past Seul Ong’s room. If he woke up, all hell would break loose. I scribbled a note, “Hyung, I’m going for a jog!” ‘Sorry hyung, but I can’t tell you the truth right now. I can’t risk GaIn knowing yet. I left the note beside Changmin’s bed. When I pulled my arm away from the table I  accidently knocked over an alarm clock. Reflex made me immediately hold the palms of my hands against my ears and tightly close my eyes as the clock lands with a loud bang on the floor. I stay perfectly still for a minute, hoping and  praying that no one had woken up.. It took a few seconds for me to check whether they were awake or not. I stretched my neck up to get a peek. Jinwoon shifted his position, from lying on his stomach to lying on his back. He laid there with his legs spreaded out, taking all the space of the small single bed. Good, he was still fast asleep. Changmin on the other bed smacked his lips loudly and turned his head to the other side, but he also did not wake up. Thank God. I breathed out in relief, relaxing from my stiff frozen posture. I grabbed the alarm clock and carefully placed it back to it’s original place on the bedside table. Then dodging all the clothes and obstacles on the floor I crept back outside and was about to leave when I realised I had forgotten the most vital thing, GaIn’s birthday present. AGH! I can’t believe I was gonna forget that! I’m so out  of it these days.. I slipped back inside and grabbed the present from my drawer, making sure this time I don’t knock anything over. Stuffing the packages inside a backpack I head back out to the front door. I stumbled to get out as I tried tp leave as fast as I could. Tugging on my shoes and pulling on a hooded jacket, I stepped out the front door and searched for my car. Rushing out into the icy cold morning, it was so cold that I could see the mist of my breathe swirl from my mouth into the the air. The windows were fogged up so thick I couldn’t even see through the glass. I jump in rubbing my hands together. ‘Why is it so cold?! Ahh chincha.” Starting the car, blasting up the heater as I head off in the direction of  Incheon airport.

I stopped by a café to grab some coffee, I needed something to keep my eyes open! I mean it was only 4am in the morning and I could feel my eyes drooping closed every few seconds. GaIn noona must have only had 3 hours of sleep last night.. I pulled over into a café place which conveniently was just opened.. I ordered a takeaway cappuccino thanking the lady as I paid. I took a small sip from the foam cup, the instant my tongue touched the burning hot liquid I recoiled at once. AHH.. my tongue. Ahhh, damn it, OBVIOUSLY IT WOULD BE HOT, why am I such an idiot! I start fanning my tongue with my hand, which was useless in cooling my tongue down. In the end I left my tongue hanging out as I walked out of the café place. Soon enough I was in the car and already near the Airport, just a few kilometres away.  As I drove on , my mind drifted from the road and I was lost in my thoughts. ‘Why do I suddenly feel so energetic?! It can’t be the coffee, I pretty much haven’ t drank any. I realised that I was usually never this hyped, actually now that I think about it I’m only ever this excited when I’m with or thinking of GaIn noona. I missed this kind of feeling. With 2AM’s tight and hectic schedule these days, I’m always feeling confined and pressured, always working and never even having time to myself. I really needed this feeling of excitement. Everytime I know I’m about to see her anticipation fills me and I literally can’t wait! … All My Love felt like an endurance of torturous hell! Hiding my feelings for her on the set and during filming felt like an eternal time of complete agony. The scenes with her were always the worst. Sometimes when I tried to look like her twin brother who was mad, I’d end up looking at her as if she was the most precious thing I had ever seen. The director was not pleased, even asking to  not show any feelings when I was being filmed! I was glad GaIn hadn’t noticed, I wouldn’t know what to say to her if she noticed me constantly staring at her.  If only we were still filming WGM maybe I wouldn’t suffer everyday like this. I would still be able to atleast say I was pretending to like her. But now that we are no longer ‘married’ I can’t do anything like before, fearing that she may find out my true feelings for her.  Remembering back all those times made me start visualising GaIn’s smile.. her sweet, sweet smile..

*DRINNNN DRINNNN!* that horn of a car returned me to reality, waking me from my hallucinations of GaIn.. AISH! My eyes widened in horror, I was about to turn onto the sidewalk! I swerved the wheel turning the car back in the right direction. People were yelling and shouting, I bowed to apologies, raising my left hand to tell them I was sorry. God, that was a close call. I almost hit a sign post.. At that very moment I felt my hand starting to sting… What?.. I looked down to see what the cause of the pain was.

Ahh, aww my hand!.. No wonder, while I was trying to avoid an accident, I spilled the boiling contents of coffee onto my hand. There was oviously no cold water to run it under so I pathetically flapped my hand around hoping to minimise the pain of the burn. ‘Ahh why the hell am I so stupid!! Focus Kwon, focus.’ I continued to drive towards the airport, feeling my hand starting to swell, I ignored the pain and hoped that GaIn was still there ..

I arrived at the airport, and started looking for a quiet parking lot so nobody would recognizes me. Far off near the airport entrance were a few reporters. I wanted to keep as low profile as possible. Ahhh.. I held my hand to mouth and started blowing.  The burn was getting worse, it was even starting to turn a bright scarlet red. I rummaged through the car and saw a glove in one of the compartments, must be Seul Ong hyung’s, I just grabbed it to cover up my now fully swollen hand. I opened the car door and was about to step out when at that exact same time I saw BEG’s van arriving. They parked pretty close to me, so I sprang back inside the car, shutting the car door behind me. I peered over the side window, waiting for her to come out.  I impatiently see the other noonas exit first. Hyo Jin noona.. Mi Hye noona.. JeA noona…ah seriously why is GaIn taking so long! Finally, she stepped out from the van, her delicate slender legs swung from her seat, She gently places her highheeled feet onto the floor and pulled herself up from the van. She clutched at her coat tightly to keep warm. I could hear the flutter of my heart the minute my eyes laid upon her… Her beauty stuns me more and more each time I see her. Like always when I see her my heart pounds against my chest and my head feels light with awe. I always feel like this when I’m anywhere near her, sometimes even when I simply watch her on t.v. I’m a nervous wreck! Am I really in love with her? Noona, is it okay if I did love you? Only you can make my heart beat so fast, make it pound hard against my chest. Can you really be my soulmate?.. I took out my necklace from under my shirt, actually it wasn’t supposed to be a necklace. I just slipped a ring through a piece of silver chain and made it into one. The ring was rusting, whereas the other one on my finger I could see still sparkled slightly. I usually where both these rings, but I always wear the one on my finger. It’s not that I don’t like the ring around my neck. Actually that ring really means a lot to me because she made it for me. But that’s why I have to take extra care of it. It isn’t good quality or anything just a ring made from a bit of wire. I smiled, it was our first couple ring, our ‘DIY couple rings’, that’s why I tend to keep the ring at home and wear the ring I bought.. I looked up to see GaIn and the other noonas walk into the main entrance of the airport with reporters and photographers tagging along with them.

I sat still inside my car for awhile. I can’s see anyone moving in the BEG van, it’s quiet and the coast seems clear. So I hurriedly walked towards the airport. I was pretty much running while struggling to put my face mask on and simultaneously placing shades over my eyes. However I succesfully covered my face before I entered the airport. If the reporters knew about me being here, the new reports would be streaming with talk of this incident, I could see it now ‘KkapKwon spotted at the airport, the same day GaIn and BEG leave for the U.S? - JoKwon at the airport on the same day Son GaIn leaves for Chicago? Coincidence? I think not!” Agh, that would be a nightmare..

As I entered, I spotted a small cafeteria neaby and since all the coffee I had recently bought was now all over the floor of my car, I decided to buy some toast and a cup of tea. While I searched for where GaIn went off to, I sat on a seat which had a view of the departuring area. Grabbing a newspaper that was somehow conveniently on the table for me to hide my face. I used it as some sort of wall, as I occasionally peeked over and then hid behind again. I thought to myself, HAHA this feels as if I’m in some sort of drama or something, kekeke. As soon as I thought that I shook my head in dismay, Kwon you are one strange kid.

“Can you give me uhh.. two slices of ham toast and hot tea please, tea first if you don’t mind” I say to the waiter, when he arrives. He nods and writes down my order, seeing as I had only ordered that he continued asking me whether I wanted anything

“Anything else, sir” – “No, thanks” –“Are you sure sir, our omelettes are very popular for a breakfast meal.” I was seriously getting annoyed, uh I was sure I already ordered..? “Sir, I’m sure you would enjo-“

Geez, this guy does not quit and the worst thing was that he was standing in the way so I couldn’t even check where GaIn was! Ahh chincha!! I cut off his sentence and reply, “Yeah, okay fine, you can do something for me, could you please move to the side a bit you’re kinda blocking my view!” He was shocked by my response but recovered and continued with his annoying bickering.

“Ohh, sorry sir.” He turns to see what he was blocking me from, and saw the crowd of people hanging around to see the Brown Eyed Girls.. his eyes lighted up in understanding, “Are you perhaps looking for the Brown Eyed Girls, they’re heading to the U.S to perform their concerts. Do you like them sir?” I don’t say anything and pretend to look at the newspaper I was holding. Ok, North Korea threatening the South, bomb raids, more government stuff.. Ohhh, some women found her daughter the other day, how nice.  The waiter however still keeps talking.. is he paid to annoy people?!

“They’re very talented, and theyre very very sexy, quite different from other girl groups, I think. My favorite is GaIn noona, she is definitely sexy. When the waiter said “My favorite is GaIn noona….”my eyes grew bigger and my right fist clenched under the table, I was seriously thinking about hitting this guy..  But the waiter couldn’t see or was pretending not to notice.. “Jo Kwon-ssi was very lucky to have her as his wife. But now that they’re “marriage” it’s over, I think lots of men are happy about that. Right sir?!!” That was it! LOTS OF MEN?! ‘Lots of men’ we’re happy, because I was no longer her husband?! No way was I going to hold in my anger at that comment. I stood up abruptly, my voice tensed with anger I shouted as loud and as fiercly as I could.


“O…o..okay, right away sir” he quickly turned dunking his head in embarrassment, rushing off to make my order. As he walked off I could feel his piercing glare boring through the back of my head.

I smirked under my mask, but what he just said stayed on my mind. Was what he said really true?! Ahh, nevermind that right now, I have to look for GaIn noona first. I really couldn’t see anything from this distance. But now that I’ve heard that..I’ve realised that I had to agree with the waiter.. GaIn noona… she did seem to be even more prettier, and SO MUCH more sexier. I mean of course I have always thought she was beautiful, her perfect complexion would probably amaze anyone who saw her.. but nowadays she seems so much more alluring.. I have no doublts whatsoever that many men would probably like her.. Noona I don’t want to see you with other men. Actually, I don’t ever want to see that. Ahhh, where is she?! Oh wait, there she is! She was standing beside a gate waiting for her plane to arrive. I could only see her from a distance yet her beauty was still so obvious. Occasionally she would disappear behind the lively reporters and crowds of fans. My toast arrives when GaIn noona starts being interviewed. It was a young waitress who was serving me, which was probably a good thing. I didn’t want to have to face a waiter who was pissed at me. Noona was on the television screen situated above me so I watched her as she was interviewd. She talked about how excited she was about BEG’s comeback, and about how tight their schedule was these past few days. Finally they asked her about her birthday, wondering what her birthday wish was for today. But before I could here anything the t.v channel was switched to sports. A soccer game was now on, players kicking and running around the green field. What the hell?! I looked around and realised that the remote was for public use and an old ajhussi was hogging the remote shouting for some random team. Agh, that’s brilliant..Well, whatever you wish for noona, I pray for it to come true. Hahaha… maybe she wants me to sing a song for her again. Well if you are, I’m here yeobo, I wish you knew that. I take a huge bite off my sandwich, listening to the Happy Birthday song sung out of tone by the BEG noonas. Keke…they looked hilarious. I was better then that, right noona? I finished my toast and headed to the toilet, my right hand was still throbbing with pain. So I thought It was best that I ran some cold water over it. I took off my shades and mask as soon as I arrived at the men’s bathroom since nobody was there. I ran the tap over the red gash across my hand… Now, I’ve got to think of a way to give my present to GaIn noona. Somebody opens the door of a cubicle behind me, it’s a kid. I slapped the mask over my face and wait for the kid to wash his hands and walk out the bathroom. He walked out violently shaking the water off his hands. I called him to stop, gesturing him to come over. He stares at me suspiciously but walks over towards me, I bend down to his eye level and asked,

 “Kiddo, you want 2000 won” showing him the money, he stared in shock taking me as a bad guy. Probably  because I wore the shades and mask like some pedophile!

“Don’t worry I’m not a bad guy, you just have to give this bag to the Brown Eyed Girls over there” I pointed my finger at them. His eyes widened when I said that and he just ran away. Maybe it was a good thing he was scared of me! “Yah! Study hard and take care!” I sceamed after him. As soon as I turned around, I bumped my head into someone. Agh… I rubbed my forehead and I looked up to see who it was that knocked me to the floor.  Under my dark shades my eyes widened GaIn noona was standing right in front of me. She was right there in front of me. Standing there. Right in front of me!.. I immediately pulled my hoodie over my head, hoping she hadn’t recognised me. She was also wearing shades so I couldn’t see her properly. We continued staring at each other, I could feel my face heating up. She asked me if I was okay, and for some reason my mouth wouldn’t move, at all! Agh damn it! Talk! Say something now! WAIT! No don’t, she might recognise you’re voice! After awhile of metally arguing with myself,  I raised my left thumb up, giving her the I’m okay signal and walked past her. I wanted to run away but thought acting normally was probably a wiser choice. I walked off for a bit and from a distance I could see, that same boy from before coming towards me. Suddenly I felt somebody tap my shoulder from behind. I turned around, and once again was face to face with GaIn noona. Ehh?! What is she doing? Does she know who I am or something?! Aahhh it can’t be I’m covered from head to toe. I stare at her nervously…  But she shows no sign of recognition. Instead, she just gave me the present I was going to give to her. She was saying something to me as she passed the present to me. But I couldn’t really hear as I was a tad preoccupied with her face coming closer to me. AAH! Why is it so hot. Ahhh, I can’t stay like this so I move my face towards hers. She seems to be frozen to the spot so I snapped my fingers to see if she was even looking. She jerks up surprised, bowing as she says sorry to me. She slowly backs away which was my cue to leave. I spun around turning my back on her, and walk wards the little boy who was waiting for me. We walked away to talk, finding some chairs to sit on so that we were out of the BEG members sight.

“Why are you here..??” I asked him, as he shuffled uncomfortably on his seat.

“Ahjussi, if you give 3000 I’ll do it and if I get a bonus too” he says with a bright face

“What’s the bonus?” and I take off my hoodie to listen to the him. Kids these days are so clever.

“Brown Eyed Girls noona autograph’s, what do you think?”

Yeah right, I’ve know them. In fact GaIn noona was my wife, kiddo

“Hahaha… okay I’ll give you 3000 and you can have the autograph” I pat him on his head, and he srunches his face up in annoyance. Before we walked over to the the BEG members, I walked into an arts and craft shop.       

 “Where are we going ahjussi??”

“Sshhh, just be quiet and follow me”

“Anneyong.. noona, can you wrap this packet with some other wrapping paper? And please make it quick” I was re-wrapping the packages because the corners were slightly ripped. I thanked them and walk back to the boy who was waiting outside the shop.

“Kiddo, wait here!! Ok, write this on this card, Happy Birthday noona, from your number one dongseng fan” I handed him the card, he liked this plan and smiled with a wide grin eagerlily writing it down in messy handwriting. I told the kid to write that, so that they’d think it was from him, and not me. As he was writing I made my way to the café place from before.

 “Where are you going now, ahjussi? You’re not forgetting our deal right?” he shouts still holding the pen, jabbing it at me as he accuses me. This makes the staff look at us with curiosity.

“No, I’m not, just wait a second ok?” I walked over to the café to buy chocopies for GaIn noona. After I heard her interview about how her birthday, I thought It was a good idea. She said her birthday so far has been relaxing and ok. She smiled and acted normally but I could see through her fake mask that she was actually quite sad. Maybe this would make her a little happier. I let the boy finish writing his fan card.

“Give me 4 packets of chocopies please” I told the young waiter from before, who still looked pissed at me.

“Thank you” I said sweetly to him as he eyed me with a sour look, I grabbed the package and walked away pretending I didn’t notice, he scowled.  Hmph! That’s what you get for talking that way about my yeobo, burn away in embarassment! BURN. Haha, I turned and walked away, my head held high.

“Ahjussi, it’s all done” He shows me the card and I looked at it..” Happy birthday noona,  from your number #1 dongshaeng fan. Haha, nice.” He beamed in pride at the compliment.  I grabbed the pen and added, “PS. I’ve bought 2 packs of chocopies so you should share one with your unnies, okay noona? And don’t let your unnies take all the chocopies you should try them too, they’re yum~.. keke” There I even drew a wobbly heart at the end. I put the card under  all the packets.

 “Kiddo, this package is for you, give it to them ok?” Passing him the packs of chocopies, “After your done I’ll give the money to you ne..? I raised my voice and added as he ran off, “Listen it’s from you, Not from me!!”

“Okay, okay..FINE! I’m going now!” he walks to the BEG members, while I watch him carefully from behind a bush next to the seat. Yes, he successfully gave it to Miryo noona.

He smiles as the noona’s thank him, each of them giving him a hug. It’s a good thing GaIn noona isn’t there.. Even though he’s just a kid, if he hugged GaIn-ah I’d pound his head in! He turns and walks towards me, and before I culd say thanks or anything he had already reminded me, “Ahjussi, where’s the money?” I rolled my eyes, but befre I give him the money I had to make sure of something

“Ahh.., are you sure BEG noonas didn’t ask you anything” I ask him curiously

“Nope, they thought it was from me. But GaIn noona wasn’t there. Only JeA noona, Narsha noona and I gave the present to Miryo noona”

“Okay, thank you” I took out my wallet and took out 3000 won, ah I’m running out of money! He smiles and leaves me, waving as he runs off to his mum who surprisingly did not notice he was gone and was talking to some other ahjumma. In the mean time, I was still standing there waiting for GaIn noona to come out to make sure she got her present. I wait for awhile, about 2minutes later I could hear the speakers loudly announcing the departure of the plane to U.S, in 15minutes?..What?… then where is SHE?! Then I see her. Her flawless face struck me breathless, numbing me once again speechless  through her beauty. My heart started beating fast when she receives my present from JeA noona’s hand. She looked around the airport as she took the package, as if trying to find someone.. Did she know it was me before, does she know I gave it to her?! She smiles after she reads the note,  a rush of relief spreaded through my body when I saw her smile, good that means she likes my present. I continue standing there watching her leave out of my sight into the departure gate…

Ahh! I really hope she can make it to Jin Young hyung’s concert in New York, I just want to see her face without have to hide behind a newspaper or a bush! Aiiisshh chincha!!


10.10 AM

My phone rings, it’s Changmin hyung, “Kwon-ah, where are you?!”

“Ahh, hyung I’m outside, waeyo??” I don’t tell him where are I am right know, which was outside the Incheon Airport..

“Seul Ong said, he couldn’t find your car in the garage. Are you driving right now?” he shouted at me

“Kekee.. yes, I’m driving right know. I have nothing on my schedule today, so I came out to.. get some fresh air.”

“Ahh, chincha. Okay, just be careful. We’re heading off for our schedule now, If you need anything you know where to find us!!” Changmin hangs up the phone.

Aigoo.. I put my phone back into my pocket and stare blankly out into the sky . The sun was rising now, the peach tint of its rays shone up and lighting the day. Where should I go today.. I seriously have no idea.


2AM van

“Hyung, did he tell you anything? Where is he right now?” JinWoon asked Changmin, his voice anxiously worried about where their  Kwonnie hyung was, the note Jo Kwon left them was such a blatent lie that they were serious worried. Kwon never jogs, he prefers the gym.

“Nope, he just said he was outside, drivng around for some fresh air or something.. Seul Ong-ah are you sure  you don’t know anything huh?” Changmin looked at his phone.

Seul Ong shakes his head honestly, “No, hyung. But it seems like our old Kwonnie is back again..He smiles continuously these past few days. Right hyung?!” saying the last sentence with great enthusiasm.

“Yeah, you’re right about that hyung.. He doesn’t take our jokes seriously, kinda just brushes it off lightly these days, well I kinda miss that too kekeke.. He’s more talkative these days, just like when he was with….you know…?” JinWoon agreed to his testimony with a big smile on his face. He was happy to see his Kwonnie hyung happy again.

“I see that too, but…” someone was calling him..


“Ah..anyong.. ahh, oppa what’s wrong?”

“Sun Ye-ah, do you know where Kwonnie is right know?” Changmin ask Sun Ye anxiously

Hearing his tone, Sun Ye immediately reacts “What is it this time, what happened to him, oppa?”

“No, nothing.. but it’s just that, these past three days he has been acting all strange. He’s become our Jo Kwon again..”

“Aiigooo, you mean he has become kkap Kwon again?! Kekeke.. Tha’s a good thing, not a bad thing oppa. Okay I’ll call him later, after I finish my schedule with Wonder Girls, anyway is he free today?”

“Yup, Ji hoo hyung said he initially wanted a free day today” Seul Ong out of nowhere slapped Changmin’s hand for saying that. “AHH, WHAT?!

“Oppa, what’s wrong?” Sun Ye ask Changmin on the other side of the call.

“Ohh.. uh..nothing. Don’t forget to call me if you know something, bye” he hangs up the phone and returns Seul Ong’s slap “Yah why’d you slap me for?!” Seul Ong stares open eyed, excitedly flapping one of his hands around. “Auhhh, hyung I think I know where Kwon has headed off to this morning!” He said, his face lit up like he knew the winner of the next Korean music charts! Hahaha..

“Chincha? Where then, hyung?”

“The BEG dorm!!! Today its GaIn birthday!!! He must be out with her right now! I teased him a couple of days ago, but he just went off to bed… Aisssh such a poker face!!” Seul Ong smirked with winner smile planted on his face. Changmin, Jinwoon and Ji Hoo manager looked at him at him in amazement.

“Yah. Yah Yah! It can’t be, Brown Eyed Girls flew off to the U.S this morning, they have concerts to perform overthere. I know this from my friends who are going to be in the their New York concert later on” Ji Hoo explain.

“Didn’t you know that hah, Ong? Have you and GaIn stopped contacting each other, like your dongshaeng Kwon?!” Ji Hoo asked Seul Ong..

“I still contact her, but I don’t ask every single detail about her activities. You already know that both of our groups have tight and hectic schedules!”

“Okay fine, but wherever he’s going and for whatever reason, let’s just hope he’s okay.” Changmin stated ending the conversation.

3 years ago with 11 notes

Wishing for You… [Chapter 3] 


okay so to all the wonderful adam couple fans, and anyone interested , MY FAN FIC UPDATE I REALISED HAS BEEN WAY DELAYED, so sorry, never got around to editing it, and adding, but anyways, here’s the finishing product,  [Disclaimer: this is not my original plot, MAIN CR: here] enjoy~

Kwonnie’s car


Ahhh, I have no idea where I should go.. I have a whole day off! Oh, that’s right, there’s that one place.. I hope nobody else is using it, They said that it became a Korean tourist destination or something like that, hahahaa.. [AN: p.s. this is a bit odd, and is not actually true] We’re famous yeobo. I drove my car to the “Adam Apartment”. When I arrive the familiar environment makes me nostalgic. I parked my car quite far from the apartment. I grabbed my mask and shades and put them on. I walked towards the building pulling my hoodie over my head…Ahh, chincha, I remember…Oh god I still remember this apartment building, it has changed a lot. Yet it still has the same aspects of the ‘Adam Apartment’. I pressed the lift to go up to the apartment, aiish, even the elevator brings memories into my head… When I arrive at the front the door, it’s locked. Ahh, bapo  of course it would be…

“Anneyonghasaeyo, did you want to visit the Kwon and Ga In Apartment?” A lady greeted me from behind

“Yes, how can get in?” I ask her

“You go down to the lobby to the front of the building, there you’ll find a ticket booth, you can buy a ticket there”

“Thank you” I bowed respectively at the kind lady and head back down stairs.

“Anneyong, sir” the staff greets me

“Anneyong, I want to buy a ticket. How much is one?”

“An hour for 2000 won, sir”

“An hour??”

“Yes sir, most of the tourist come here in a group and they stay for quite long time just to eat there!” the staff explained to me..           

“Ahh, is the food from you as well?” I asked..

“Yes, you know when GaIn-ssi cooks for the first time for Jo Kwon-ssi in that apartment”

“Ahhh, yes I remember. Are you sure it tastes like Ga In-ssi?” Of course I remember her cooking very well, smiling when I recalled me constantly watching and annoying her as she prepared ingredients.

“Well, I don’t know. Both GaIn-ssi and Jo Kwon-ssi havn’t come back here since they last filmed the show, they’re very busy. So I never had a chance to offer them my food and ask if it tasted the same” I smiled at him, well, maybe I’ll give you the results later.

“Hahhaa… that’s funny, you’re right, we would never know. Here…” I gave 50 000 won to him

“SIR, are you sure??” the staff sounded astonished

“What!!, I won’t be long just make sure nobody comes in okay? And how much more for the food?”

“No, sir the food is free I think. Its more than enough, c’mon I’ll show you” we walked to the apartment

“Hey, do the cameras that turn on when we enter the apartment still work?” I asked the staff jokingly

“Hahhaaa… you can see the camera there, but it’s off. You’re asking quite a lot of questions sir, did you watch them regularly?”

“Well, not regularly but me and my wife loves them” my ‘on-screen’ wife anyway.

“Ahh you’re married sir, you seem to young to be geting married”

 “Why don’t believe me?! Look!” Flashing out my ring as a patheticly, realised in a microsecond how incredibly lame that reaction must have been..

“Haha, mo, it’s just you look so young sir. Even though you’re wearing a face mask I’m pretty sure I know your age”

“Kekeke… really? Okay.. Oh, ahh, Why did you decide to choose that meal out of all the other mealss?”

“Ahh, that one. Because it’s the first meal GaIn-ssi made for Jo Kwon–ssi after they moved into this apartment… Okay we’re here. This is the key, sir”

“Please enjoy, oh yeah you can use the TV and that Nintendo WII too. I’ll drop off the food for you soon sir” and with that he shuts the door behind him.

The very moment, I stepped into the apartment, I felt my heart throbbing faster in pain.

Ahh, it hurts… so bad. Everything was left exactly the same as it was two years ago when Ga In noona and I ‘lived here’. All the things and furniture were the same, I could see ‘our family motto’, the kitchen, our small red sofa the table, the piano, even the two tiny plastic ‘bike’ toys me and gain bought and rode around on. It’s all exactly the same, except for the tv and the Nintendo Wii of course. I walked into the bed room, it was definitely the same.. Pink overload.. Hahahaa… I remembered that canopy.. The doorbell suddenly rings reverting me back to the present, ahh.. must be the staff bringing up GaIn’s food. I opened the door.

“Here sir, I hope you like it” – I replied with a quick thanks closing the door behind him.

I washed my hands before eating, feeling the burn on my left hand still aching. I flicked the water off my hands and walked out towards the living room. Staring at the surroundings I stood rigidly in the living room, leaning back against a wall, my knees bent as I sank to the floor. I found it hard to breath, everything seemed the same yet also so different… Why did I come to this place, it brings back memories yes, but they were not pleasant, they were.. painful. This place without her, feels like nothing..! I stand up and pull off my jacket, taking off my mask and shades, and locking the apartment door. I fell back on the sofa which, at the time with Ga In noona was already big, now somewhat felt ginormous. Arms spreaded out  onto the red sofa. I looked down at the food and decide to try the supposed “GaIn noona’s meal’ I grab a spoon and tried some..auchh… yeugh! Salty was an understatement, this thing (obviously was not suite for edible purposes) made even soy sauce bland! It tastes so different, the likeliness that the meals would taste the same was already inevitably low, my mind still feigned hope.

 Agh.. I probably won’t ever taste her cooking again.. My heart becomes heavy from that thought so I get up walking towards the bedroom… throwing my body onto the bed, I lie there, reminiscing the WGM scenes on this bed..I can’t take it anymore. The pain of these happy memories bring tears to my eyes. I grabbed a pillow and cried as hard as I could, not caring anymore. I felt regret the very moment I said it, and it had been killing me softly inside ever since, I shouldn’t have said that to her. But, I promised Jin Young hyung  that I wouldn’t fall in love and would only focus on my work. I promised.. but now I’m regretting. 


- Flashback - 

Two years ago, one month before WGM’s last shooting

“Kwon-ah next month our marriage will end, are you going to miss me at all?” We were currently backstage of an award ceremony. She was giving me a back hug in front of a lot of people (idols and artist as well).

“Yeobo, don’t you know there are lotes of people staring at us” I whispered to her, I feel sort of  self-conscious when so many people are watching us, yet at the same time couldn’t deny the giddy happiness overflowing from her tight embrace.

“Waeyo?Aw, don’t you like it. Okay, What about this one?” she hugs me evern tighter, I had to admit her hugs were intoxicating. I ducked my head in embarrassment, why is it that she is always playing me, I fall for each of these small gestures without effort.

“Okay, what do you want yeobo” I turned my back to face her and I see her smiling..Aghh, she’s so amazingly beautiful tonight. I cupped her face with my hands and she leans her head into them willingly.

“Keke…nothing, just wanted to stay like this for a while. Can I yeobo?” she said it sweetly using her aegyo. God, I can’t help it she was just too adorable yet so completely mesmerising, not replying, I smile at the happiness of this moment. Hugging her tightly as my right hand trailed down to her waist and placed it on her left hip. That’s when it hit me, something didn’t feel right..I can feel her skin…?! Quickly I turned her around.

AHH, chincha[seriously]! I could see her smooth back exposed blatantly to the world, but no I wasn’t happy to see it, because right now, her back was visible to so many OTHER MEN standing not so far away..

 “Ga-In ahhh!” I dragged my voice in nagging tone, causing many people to stare.

“What the hell is thi-..?!!!” but I was cut off because her small delicate hands were now covering my mouth. Oh great, well I wasn’t complaining about the sudden contact, because hey, her hand is on my mouth. However the consistent irritation of other men perceiving her like this.. steam was starting to hiss from my ears.

“Wha… ar…you” – I was struggling to speak with her hand still covering my mouth.

“Shhh, kwonnie, QUEIT DOWN FIRST!’ I stopped moving my mouth so aggressively, with that Ga-In precariously removed her hand. ‘Ok now, what is it?!”

“What? What? I’ll tell you what! Why are you wearing a dress like this!” I whisperer fiercely to her, trying to sound as calm as possible. But it was quite obvious to her that I was angry, well the hissing and the magnified size of my eyes didn’t really help me much.

“Waeyo, it’s pretty right?” she said brightly as she turns around in front of me.

I had to admit, even though I was pretty angry she was right. That dress really did look great on her, her petite image indeed went ravishingly well with the gown… Ahh! Kwon, it is still exposing way too much of her skin. I tugged off my blazer, slightly messing my hair in the process and wrapped it around her body. I was attempting to cover up her back but even with that her skin remained visible , well, it was good enough for now. I grabbed her hand and dragged her, well when I say ‘dragged’ I don’t literally mean ‘dragged’, she was willing to follow me..but I still was pulling her. I took her outside, somewhere quiet and secluded AWAY from other people.

“Yeobo, im sorry that I yelled at you… But… this dress.”

She genuinely looked sad, using her aegyo she said,“Okay, fine, I won’t wear this again. happy now?!!” she took off my blazer, and gave it back  to me, giving me a quick hug.. Ahh, well when she uses her aegyo, its hard not to forgive the girl.

“Yeobo you still havn’t answered my question yet” once again I cupped her face with my right hand.. savoring this moment as best I can.

“Ahhh, off course I’ll miss you GaIn-ah, more than I can bear.” she grinned obviously pleased with my answer, I tried to kiss her, but she pulled away in embarrassment.

“Yah, what are you doing. There are a lot of reporters “

“Just a really quick one, please…..” I begged her using what I pulled off as a cute smile, purposely deployed my puppy eyes, hoping she’ll fall for my pathetic excuse of a cute act. She moved her face closer to mine and gave me a light peck on my nose..

“Yeobo –ah… here….” I pointed at my lips with my index finger, my eyes opened wide, pleading.

“You wish Kwonnie.” she taps my nose and grins, and then turns off back into the building leaving me standing there looking disappointed, damn this girl really is so hard to get, but hey that’s sort of the reason she caught my heart.

“Kwon-ah hurry up, bailii[hurry up]!” she used her hands and placed them on either side of her mouth as she shouts for me to follow, seeing her like was so adorable.

“In a second” I called after her… I wanted to watch her leave out of my sight, I wanted to prepare myself for the rest of my life seeing here turn her back on me and leave.. Leave and then never turn back ever again.

“Yah, kwonnie what’s wrong?? Are you sick” her eyes were filled with worry as she asked me, I stared deeply into her gorgeous eye, lined with eyeliner…We continued to stare into each others eyes.. I have never stared into her eyes like this before and she seems to also notice thsis new stare..

I took a deep breathe in and closed my eyes, urging all the confidence inside me to say it out..

“Noona, I’m gonna miss you, really really miss you! But that is all that I can give to you right now, other than that I have nothing to give to you. Only this“fake husband” image nothing more, please.., don’t hope for anything with me because I really don’t think I can do it.” I say it quickly and loudly, stopped once only for a short breathe but then continued. “ I hope we can continue our “fake relationship” until the show ends, so please let’s make beautiful memories before our farewell next month” When I finished I stared into her eyes..I could see they’ve become watery, she was holding back her tears. She takes a long deep breathes, and her eyes are looking down towards the ground.. The sight of her like this left me feeling sick.. sick of myself. I’m sorry noona, please forgive me..

* * *

I stared into his eyes, hoping, searching for any hint that he was joking or lying to me, but I could plainly see he really meant what he said….my chest suddenly tightened.. I wanted to get away from him, as far away as possible… “Okay, it’s true that we’re only a fake couple… So Jo Kwon thank you for all your cooperation, it’s been an honour to have you as my partner” Lifting my right hand I gestured an agreement through shaking hands, my eyes averted his. I can’t let him see me upset, I just can’t.

* * *

We shook hands, like the first time since we met at the Ok Ge Doong Park. Her grip seemed different cold almost, distant. She was hiding herself away from me again.. She barely smiles, it’s a small soft smile that seemed to make her face look even sadder. Ah, Jokwon, you idiot, you hurt her..

Our hands drop to our sides and the air around us seemed stuffy and awkward, like when we first met..The feeling was terrible, suffocating. I almost wanted to take back what I had said.. “Ahh, Kwon,umm.. I’ll go first..” she said with a wave, but her face held no expression, she acted like a different person. It was only a few minutes ago she was acting all cute and sweet.. it was if there was a girlfriend-like aura, I was happy I was thrilled, but now… My mind is numb I didn’t know what to do.. I didn’t feel like walking back into a crowded building.. I turned and walked over to sit on a park brick bench nearby. I sit there looking up at the stars when out of nowhere tears streamed down my face, I told myself to stop, but that just seemed to make my tears trail down even more.

“Kwon-ah!!” A familiar voice called my name. I quickly wipe at my tears, but the tears continue to shed.

“Eh?..Kwon..” It’s Nick Khun hyung, he quickly walks over towards me and bends down to sit beside me. “Kwon-ah.. Are you crying, waeyo??” His voiced was thick with concern, and he wraps an arm lightly around my face.  

“It’s okay, its okay.. here. Use this” he patted my back attempting to console me, and offeres his handkerchief. He stayed with me for quite long time without asking me anything.

“Thanks hyung..” I said really thankful he was here with me.

 “Mmmm, that’s okay Kwon, Do you mind sharing with me about what happened?Or do you want me to call Seul Ong, Ji Hoo hyung or Changmin hyung?”

“No, no one please.. Just can you stay with me for a while longer please. That’s okay right, you already finished your performance righ?t”

“Yup, it’s okay, I finished about half an hour ago.. Now tell me.” Khun hyung’s phone beeps and so does mine.

“It’s from Taec I should go back, what about  you??”

“Aw.. it’s Changmin hyung, yeah I should back as well”

“C’mon then I’ll walk with you”

“No, hyung it’s okay, I’d rather to stay here. You go.”

Nick khun stands up, about to head back but hesitates. He turns back and sees his dear friend so miserable.  Finally he decided to stay“Ahh, on second thought, I think I want to stay here for awhile.” He sits back beside Kwon and stares off into the night sky ‘… So are you ever gonna tell what made you cry Kwon-ah?”

I raised my head to look at him, he looked sincerally concerned… Ah what the heck I really needed to tell someone, and I trust Nick Khun hyung.. I took a deep breath and whispered “Just.. what I’m about to say to you don’t mention it to anyone, not even our JYP family, and don’t laugh me okay?”

“Okay of course, I can do that..”

“Hyung I think I’m in love with GaIn noona”

“Keee..keee..keee, oo.. kay  then what’s the problem. Why are you crying Kwon?”

My face to my ears turn red when Khun hyung laughs.. “Ah shikoro, I can’t tell her.”

“Ohh.. C’mon after all those great events you did for her!! Why can’t you say it for real!! Why is it, you CAN’T say it Kwon?” he raised his tone at the single word.

“Say what??” I heard a familiar female voice as footsteps drew closer..

“Sun Ye-ah, what are you doing here?” she was walking towards us from behind, and I was afraid she had heard what I had said just then, Ah, Kwon, always check if there is anyone listening when you say something personal.

“Kwon everyone is looking for you, the reporters want a photo of the JYP family. C’mon”

“Just tell them, Kwon has a stomach ache” Khun hyung said in vain hope that she doesn’t see Jokwon crying..but it was too late, she saw his red puffy eyes..

“Kwon-ah are you crying?” Sun Ye.

“Why, what happened” She squats in front of me and Khun hyung

“Your best friend is in love but he can’t say it to the woman he loves..”

“Ahhh, GaIn unnie right? Kwon-ah it might be tough but I know you can do it. I support both of you with all my heart. Adam fighting!.. kekeke…. Ye Eun, Sohee and Yoobin will be thrilled when I tell them this, they both love you two as well!” hearing those words weren’t helping! They were making me feel even more miserable..I turn my back on them hiding my misery etched face..

“Ahh, he’s upset Kwon-ah c’mon share with us. Maybe we can help somehow, or you just need some 2PM and Wonder Girl’s love, we all support you” Khun said enthusiastically.

“I appreciate you offering but no one can help me.”

“What, waeyo?” Sun ye asks..

“I’ve already talked to Jin Young hyung about this, you remember when he said he agreed with my ‘marriage’ on WGM? Yeah well three days after we were filming the show I came into Jin Young hyung’s office and ask him if what he said was really true. He shocked me by screaming at me.


“No KWON-AH, I DON’T APPROVE!.. Kwon-ah I said that because I was being filmed, I’m sorry if you took it as me approving you and GaIn-shi. [AN: P.S. I actually think Jin Young approves of GaIn, if you want to know why, come on guys, he collaborated with her in an MV recently haha]

But I continued my argument, “What if I really was in love with GaIn noona hah?!”

“I think you might fall in love with her when WGM is still airing, but after the show ends Kwon I won’t treat you and GaIn as a couple. I’m sorry Kwon but this is all business. May I also remind you. Please don’t just fall in love with her, and not genuinely care about her welfare. It will just hurt you and GaIn-ssi in the end.You could ruin both your music careers by doing this. So please take my advice”

I finished my story, both Khun Jyung and Sun-ye listened carefully..

“Kwon-ah if Jin Young said that, I’m really sorry I don’t think I can help..” Khun hyung replied quickly in vain.

“But, do you and GaIn unnie want to become a real couple?” Sun ye askd me curiously

“No, we are just enjoying our time together I don’t think I there is anything special between us. Well maybe for me? But not for her? Maybe for her as well? But how can I be sure.. I don’t even know..

“If you think this is all painful, what would GaIn noona feel. Don’t forget she’s a woman Kwon, and women usually when they feel something deep inside do not  share it openly with others..”

“Yah, stop it. Thinking of her already makes me depressed, I hate myself for hurting her,  so stop talking about her.”Sun Ye nodded in an understanding sympathetic manner, I felt slightly worse for telling her off, but I really couldn’t deal with more reminders.

“Okay, so that’s it?’ I just saw you two hug, a couple of  minutes ago inside! You two looked so happy, so what’s wrong?” Khun asked me.

“Yes, okay? Something did happen, she turned  her back on me and walked away. She left me after I told her I couldn’t give her anything after WGM ended. Okay?! She completely changed her attitude towards me and suddenly its like we are complete strangers.”

“Kwon-ah you really said that to her” Sun Ye’s eyes started to become watery..

“Yah,what is this?! Are you going to cry as well” I screamed at her, I didn’t want anyone to cry because of me, it was enough that GaIn noona was sad because of me..

Sun Ye takes a tissue out from her purse and wiped at her damp eyes.

”Kwon-ah listen, I’m a woman so I would know how GaIn unnie feels. All the cute and sweet events you made for her, all the memories you guys shared together. Even if you turned and walked away from her, she won’t forget the memories she had with you. It took time to even crack into that shell GaIn puts around her Kwon. So I’m sorry but I think you really broke her heart. Wait, you havn’t finished filming your last episode with her on WGM right? So you still have time Kwon! You might of thought that saying that wouldn’t matter to her, but  if you actually stopped and thought about her, you’d see! When you two hugged inside the building. Did you not see the happiness on her face? Even though your relationship was just ‘work partners’, she enjoyed spending her time with you, I know you feel the same way about her as well right? I really can’t believe you really did that to her. C’mon just a phone conversation after the show has ended, just as a friend okay?…, can you really not do that?..”  

“Look, hear me out. I really can’t do that. I tried controlling myself a few months ago when I realised that I was falling for her. I told myself that it’s only a sign of affection, it doesn’t mean I liked her. I tried not acting different around her,  not commenting much or asking about how her work was, replying with simple answers whenever she as asked me what I was thinking, all the photo shoots, all her performances. I try my best to act as a friend like when we first met. I forced myself to make myself like that OBS thing. Ignore her as someone I was in love with. But everything about her captivates me as if she has a hold on my suffering heart.”

Khun and Sun Ye couldn’t say anything, they knew Kwonnie was giving all he’s got, and that he was trying very hard,but  they really couldn’t do anything about company’s regulations

“Well at least you should have said your goodbye to her after the show ended Kwon, not tonight.” Nick Khun, nodded in agrrement and added, “ Sun Ye is right Kwon, I can see how happy you and GaIn noona were when you hugged inside, and all of sudden you make her cry?  Sorry Kwon, but I have to take her side on this one, you still have time to apologize to GaIn noona. Well, at least so you guys can make memorable memories in the next month Kwon… C’mon we’ve go to go find GaIn noona”

“Yah bapo! Come here! Are you gonna go look for your lady with your face like that?! Look at your face Kwon-ah!! Come on let me fix you up” Sun Ye opened her purse and takes out a tiny make up bag, she lightly powders my nose.

“Mmmm, I think that’s okay, right oppa” she turn my face to face Khun hyung henodded and raised his right thumb up.

“C’mon” Sun Ye linking arms with me and grabbing Khun hyung’s arm linking his arm as well.

“Yah, if I tell Jo hyung that I met both you guys In the bathroom would he believe my story?”

“No way, I donlt think he would!! Maybe if you told him we had a ‘fart’ battle, then he would believe you!..” “Haa…haa…ha……” Nick Khun was laughing hysterically after what he said.

“Yah, what about me? What should I say?”

“Just tell Shin noona, you fainted from our fart battle when you walked into the toilet!” Khun hyung said with enthusiasm,I grin widely because I knew they were just teasing me.

“Aiigooo, look at this face… so cute..” Khun  grips the back of my neck as Sun Ye pinches both my cheeks with her hands and makes noises as if I was a baby.

“Aw, very cute…., see this person right here is so much better then the sad Kwon before.”

Just at that moment, I looked across passed Sun Ye’s shoulder and saw BEG noona’s coming our way they were already leaving the building. They were leaving! I tried to get Sun Ye’s hands off my cheeks, too late.. All 8 eyes were staring at the three of us fiercely. Khun Hyung looked up and saw the BEG members about to leave.

“Kwon, that’s GaIn noona. Hurry” he push me almost making me fall on my face. I run towards the direction that the  BEG went, they were walking towards their van.

“Yeobo… I want to talk, please..” I walk closer to GaIn noona, her head was bowed down, she was ignoring me. I was about to take her hand but Narsha noona slaps it away and stops me, block me from GaIn noona..

“Jo Kwon stop it!!! You’re not filming right now, she’s your noona not your “wife”. Do you understand me?!” she hissed fiercely, warning me to stay away. I could see Narsha noona’s eyes grow bigger when she yelled ar me. They start leaving and Narsha noona kept eye contact with me, her eyes were locked on mine, watching my every move, like a lion watching it’s prey. She was fuming, fuming because of me, because I made her dongshaeng sad. Ahh, GaIn-ah.. you already told your unnies?…Why couldn’t you wait jus awhile longer?…

“Narsha c’mon, I NEED to talk to her!”, my voice was breaking I was close to breaking into tears as I watched them take my GaIn-ah away from me.. JeA noon turned back and said politely, “Kwon-ah sorry.. but we really have tight schedule, so we have to go” She grabs Narsha noona’s hand and pulls her away to their van, where GaIn noona was.. They don’t even give me a chance to talk to her, to say sorry to her. I stood there even after the van vanished around the corner. If Nick Khun hyung didn’t come and tell me to leave I would’ve stayed standing there.

“Kwon-ah let’s go, you still have time to say sorry. I’ll help you” he push my back towards the building.

“Mm, that’s right! We’ll help you! I think GaIn unnie probably saw me pinch your cheeks before, I should also go apologise and explain to her what happened. Right oppa!!” Sun Ye added

We drew near the entrance of the building, Khun hyung whispered into my ear,  “Kwon-ah pull yourself together okay? There are a lot of reporters and they’ll definitely notice if you look so sad” I nodded in agreement and linked arms with Nick khun and made Sun Ye link arms with Nick Khun. They look me questioning why I did this but did not say anything. Then we walk. Once I placed my feet in the building, I quickly changed into the quirky funny JoKwon again, hiding any sign of pain or sadness. Cameras flashed and reporters were yelling at us asking us questions, and even though I struggled I managed to maintain the fake image of my old self..

“Aiigoo… look at the JYP love in here!.. a Prince of 2PM, A Beautiful Leader of Wonder Girls and the Cute Caring Husband of 2AM, can we have a quick photo of you guys?!” Khun hyung and Sun Ye both look at me making sure I was okay, I give the biggest grin I could muster up, trying my best to act normal. I knew my job as an Idol, but right now I hated it! I just want to be a regular and normal person..so I could be with Ga In.

- End of Flashback-

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